Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?

deviantART

 

Lawyer jokes.. for your amusement

Sat Oct 24, 2009, 3:17 AM
Be prepared!



Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bull?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Don't forget...

  • Mood: Egghead
  • Listening to: Cars drive by
  • Drinking: Solo

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
No comments have been added yet.

Journal History

What phone do you have? 

43%
6 deviants said Nokia
21%
3 deviants said LG
14%
2 deviants said Iphone
7%
1 deviant said Samsung
7%
1 deviant said Ericsson
7%
1 deviant said Motorolla
0%
No deviants said Other
0%
No deviants said Pay phone (lol)

Shoutbox

*hypothetically:iconhypothetically:
haha i think they'll look at me a little funny :P
Fri Apr 25, 2008, 8:17 AM
=SassyAssLilBich:iconSassyAssLilBich:
try barking at people as you pass them on the sidewalk :rofl: :hug: YOU
Fri Apr 25, 2008, 7:36 AM
*hypothetically:iconhypothetically:
AGH scary bark
Mon Jan 14, 2008, 7:06 AM
~mikexplosivo:iconmikexplosivo:
bark!
Mon Dec 24, 2007, 6:25 AM
*hypothetically:iconhypothetically:
lmao it's not a shouting virgin anymore!
Wed Nov 28, 2007, 4:05 PM
!Morologus-Es:iconMorologus-Es:
mackattack23: You stole the Shoutbox's virginity! You monster!:crying:
Tue Nov 27, 2007, 9:39 AM
*hypothetically:iconhypothetically:
lol you did!
Sun Nov 18, 2007, 5:27 PM
@mackattack23:iconmackattack23:
I got the first shout in =P haha
Fri Nov 9, 2007, 7:04 AM

Forum

There are no threads yet!

Site Map