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About Me Premium Member General Digital Photographer hypothetically19/Female/Australia Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Lawyer jokes.. for your amusement

Sat Oct 24, 2009, 3:17 AM
Be prepared!



Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bull?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Don't forget...

  • Mood: Egghead
  • Listening to: Cars drive by
  • Drinking: Solo

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Australia
  • Interests: Photography | Shopping | Law
  • Favourite movie: Zoolander | Role Models | Mean Girls
  • Favourite band or musician: The Presets
  • Favourite genre of music: Electronica | RnB
  • Favourite poet or writer: Real crime books
  • Favourite style of art: Photography
  • Operating System: Windows XP
  • MP3 player of choice: Nokia 6500-slide
  • Shell of choice: Sea Shells
  • Favourite gaming platform: Playstation 1/2 | DS
  • Favourite cartoon character: Elmo isn't a cartoon but he's awesome
  • Personal Quote: Everything Beautiful Eventually Dies
  • Tools of the Trade: Pentax Optio A20 (10mp), Photoshop CS3 & ACDsee

Comments


:iconsrdrummerboy:
It is a very fine automobile!

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Forever I am changed by His Blood.
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:iconhypothetically:
Indeed.

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:iconhibride:
thanx for the fave:)

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:iconhypothetically:
No worries!!

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:iconhibride:
okay:)

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:iconhypothetically:
Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed.

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:icongobackintime:
i m here 2 now. ablan.
:iconhypothetically:
HI ABLA!!!!!!!! :hug:

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